literature

Gorillaz Fliriting 101

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Literature Text

“Isn’t that Murdoc Niccals?”
“That guy from Gorillaz? I think that’s him.”
“Whose the cutie beside him?”
“That’s the singer! Oh my gosh, he is so adorable!”


“Muds, what’s wrong with your eyebrows? Are they having a seizure?” 2D asked as he squinted his eyes.
“Shut up face ache! I’m working my magic!”
Across the bar sat two women, prime and ready for clubbing. One sat with her fishnet clad legs crossed, her red stilettos glittering.  Her long, wavy hair of red hide one of her green eyes, making her look even more seductive. Her soft, plush lips sipped at her Appletini. Her friend curled her hair of black, giggling and exposing her shinning white teeth. Her dark, blue dress seemed to shimmer each time she moved. Coyly, she traced the rim of her white wine glass.
2D followed Murdoc’s gaze towards.  He spotted the two ladies and he felt a blush creep over his face.
“Don’t you go getting any ideas you mongrel,” Murdoc planted his palm in front of 2D’s face.  “They’re mine. Besides, you wouldn’t stand a chance.”
At this, 2D’s face turned with anger, “What the hell does that mean?”
“Don’t kid yourself D. Everyone knows I’m the ladies man.”
“Hey, girls like me!”
“Yeah, all the girls under thirteen!” Murdoc laughed.
2D felt his anger rising.  He knew that he wasn’t the smartest person on Earth but there were times when Murdoc’s insults really got to him.  Okay, it was true that he did have a bunch of young girls who fawned over him but so did Murdoc! Besides, he was a rock star as well. Exactly why would have trouble getting a lady?
“I bet they like me more than you!” 2D spat.
“Oh, you do do ya? Alright, lets make a wager. Whoever can get those two girls’ numbers, wins and the other has to submit to the ‘punishment.’ Deal?”
“Deal!”

Round 1: Murdoc.
With his usual, arrogant swagger, Murdoc made his way to the table.  The women noticed him but pretended that they didn’t.  As he sat down, they continued their conversation, acting like he was nothing but a puff of air.
“Hey ladies,” Murdoc began.  “I was wondering if either of you would mind if I take a picture of  your two.”
“Why?” One asked.
“I want to show Santa what I want for Christmas.” He replied.
“Did you hear that Queenie? He wants us wrapped up under the tree!” The one with red hair told her friend.
“I wonder how many times he used that line Opal.” Queenie giggled.
“I saw you two girls checking me out from across the way,” Murdoc leaned back in the chair.  “I guess you were too nervous to come introduce yourselves. I have that effect on people.”
“Oh really?” Queenie rolled her eyes, sipping her drink.
“Of course! Being an international sex symbol and demon bass player seems to give me a certain air that makes all women speechless around me.”
“Are you sure its not your body odor?” Opal asked.
Murdoc faltered for only a second but he managed to regain himself, “That my dear is the stench of love!”
“Oh please!” Queenie turned her back to him.  
Murdoc quickly jump up and sat down on the ground, facing Queenie who looked both shocked and disgusted.  
“Don’t be shy sweetie,” Murdoc grinned.  “I’ll be gentle.”
Queenie’s face began to redden.  Murdoc’s arm was rested on her knee with his hand slowly moving up.  At the moment, she hadn’t seen this because she was too busy trying to kill him with her eyes.  Murdoc, of course, wasn’t pay attention to the death stare; he was more interested in Queenie’s underwear.  
“Oh! Pink and silky. Nice!”
WHACK!
“Ouch!” Murdoc rubbed his face.
“You want some ice for that? Here!” Queenie poured the rest of her drink on his face before she turned on her heel and left.  Opal picked up her glass before she followed after her friend.

Intermission
“What happened to your face Muds?” D asked.
“Nothing,” He muttered as he pulled up a stool.  “Bet she had AIDS. Its your turn.  Go ahead and fail.”
“Kay.”

Round 2: 2D

“Hello ladies,” 2D waved as he approached the women.  “I’d wanted to apologize for my mate Murdoc.  He’s not the best with ladies”
“Oh, that’s alright,” Opal smiled.  “Hey, you’re the singer from Gorillaz aren’t you?”
“Hey, I am.” He grinned slightly.
“I knew he looked familiar!” Queenie scooted over.  “Why don’t you sit with us?”
“Okay,” 2D sat down next to her.  “You’ve got pretty hair.”
“Oh, its not that pretty. I think its frizzy.”
“Its not. It looks like its made of silk,” 2D tugged at his hair. “My hair on the other looks like a rat’s nest.”
“You---you really like my hair?” Queenie asked.
“Its super beautiful! I know thousands of women who’d die to have your hair!”
Queenie turned bright red but she smiled sweetly at 2D. Murdoc, who was watching, just stared in confusion.
“You’re such a nice guy,” Opal said.  “Much nicer than that other guy who smells like dying fish.”
“Muds doesn’t belive in baths,” 2D replied.  “Come to think of it, he doesn’t believe in floss, toothbrushes or shampoo.”
“You’re funny,” Opal giggled.  “And super cute.”
“And you’re super, duper beautiful.  Are you a model?”
“Oh, no!” Opal hid her face as she blushed.  “I’m a nurse.”
“A very pretty nurse!”
“Stop, I’m blushing!”
“But it’s the truth!  The reason I didn’t come over here earlier is because---“ 2D trailed off.
“Because why?” Queenie asked.
“I was nervous of talking to two pretty girls.”
“Why would you be nervous?” Opal looked at 2D.  
“Because I’m not a ladies man.”
“You don’t need to be! You’re cute, polite and so sweet!” Queenie tugged his cheek.
“Ya think so?” 2D asked.
“We know so!” Opal winked.  “You know, we’ve never been in London before.  We could use a tour guide.”
“I could tour ya!” 2D raised his hand like a schoolboy.
“Sounds like fun,” Queenie smiled as she leaned closer to him.  “After that, why don’t we go to our hotel for a little after tour fun?”
“I like that idea.”

Winner: 2D!

“WHAT.THE.FUCK!” Murdoc cursed as he watched 2D leave with the two, beautiful tourists.  “How did he----why didn’t I----why on earth----“
The bartender followed Murdoc’s gaze, “Some guys just have the touch.”
“Yeah, and thanks to that touch, I have to break out the diaper and baby bonnet,” Murdoc sighs.  “Stupid bet.”
Okay, something is going on with DA so I'm going to post this anyways.

This story is for :iconlieutenantgorillaz: about Murdoc and 2D trying to flirt.
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Hinatazuk's avatar
I kinda wana know what "the punishment" is?